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Christopher Nolan’s “Interstellar” blockbuster: Win or fail?

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I’ve taken the past few days to let my screening of Interstellar sink in for an in-depth analysis. While the full review will be up later, I will provide you with this Meanwhile on the Internet quick synopsis of one of the movie’s many conundrums:

(courtesy of Facebook user Luke Houser)

Interstellar summary

 

Yes. Please make sure to read that twice, because if any of that makes sense, it’ll help you out later.

Stay tuned as I dive further into the black hole (pun intended) of mind-blowing space opera that is Interstellar.

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Meanwhile On Twitter. . .

 

 

 

 

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Yeah, so Twitter has been one thing that I’ve never personally understood. Being an avid Facebook user, perhaps I just find myself to be biased, but on Twitter it seems as if there just a lot of people talking to themselves. Lately, due to business reasons, I’ve reinstated the life of my personal Twitter account , but I still haven’t gotten used it. At random, I get follower requests from people that I’ve never seen nor heard of in my entire life, but hey, maybe that’s the point! When I originally logged in, I think it did something where it synced with all of my phone’s contacts and automatically requested any matches that it found on Twitter, but some of these people pop up and I don’t even understand how.

Today, whilst diligently killing time, I clicked on the Twitter app and found this:

 

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WTF is this? Here, we have two respectable ladies who apparently know everything that there is to know about two of the hottest topics trending between today’s heterosexual women: men and marriage.

 

What can we deduce from their theories?

[1] That men and women are apparently treated differently by society if they choose to not join someone else in holy matrimony.

Fair enough.

We’ll save the topic of gender inequality for another day. 

[2] One of them said that she has, ahem, fornicated with “enough” married men to know that marriage isn’t “superlative.” Also, this seems to imply that women don’t cheat too?

Wait, so just because you’ve slept with “enough” married men, this somehow means that you know them all? Either you’ve slept with over 3.5 billion males (a good majority of which would be underage and unmarried), or you’re making a HUGE (and quite ridiculous) assumption. Maybe it shouldn’t be taken literally, after all, it could be a joke.

Even if it isn’t a joke, don’t we have more than enough evidence to know that to some people, marriage actually is superlative, if done correctly? Sure we’re seeing a record number of marital failures these days, but there’s also plenty of hope.

I mean, look at “Kimye” as a fine example:

Isn’t this one of the ultimate societal archetypes that we’ve been presented with?

They seem to be doing just fine! Didn’t you guys see that crazy music video?  They’ve been married for nearly six months (longer than I have), and there are no signs of impending doom. I’ll give Kim props, as this surely trumps her previous marital stint’s 72 days of wedlock.

Oh, well. Though I briefly lose faith in humanity after seeing things like this Twitter post (I still have no clue who originated the quotes, because I’m Twitter dumb), I think we need to look on the bright side. There is nothing wrong with marriage, especially if you do it right. I mean, I’ve only been married since July 25th, so what do I know? Oh, just that when I said those vows to my wife, I actually meant them.

/rant

–Bryan

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DJ Khaled Might Have The World’s Easiest Job

Yep, I said it.

DJ Khaled might have the world’s easiest job. I mean, come on, the guy blew up by producing songs with A-list hip-hop artists in them, but he justifies putting his name on the artist list simply because he randomly shouts, “DJ KHALED!” before and after a set of uncomfortably cheesy lines said to a nameless woman before the music starts.

NOTE: This woman isn’t a normal nameless woman, she’s “smat,” according to Khaled.

You read that correctly. Not “smart,” but “smat,” without the “r,” because it would be too proper to say it right.

Should we mention the random Heads Audio advertisement drops? Dude hopped out of a Maybach 67S wearing a pair of headphones as if they were surgically attached to his head. Nonetheless, I’d imagine that he’s still making millions, so I begin to ponder the ultimate question:

[1] How do we “normal” minions manage something like this? Can I do some advertising drops for Little Debbie Iced Honey Buns (the greatest semi-artificial pastry EVER)? I have no problem with being strategically placed in a music video, dancing to the music, all while munching away at my pastry. Maybe I’ll call 2 Chainz and try to book a spot in his next drop.

[2] How does one build a music and advertising empire that enables one to easily promote products, even if the advertisement borders on horrendous? We demand answers!

Oh, and don’t dismiss this as hate. Khaled is a genius, and obviously, he’s fine-tuned his formula and it’s working. The song is catchy enough, and Future still sucks (he sounds like a drunken Walt Jr. from “Breaking Bad”), but Chris’ part shines as usual. The guy has some talent, and hopefully the anger management therapy helps him out.

“Say my name, baby!” Khaled says to the nameless woman after the music. It’s as if he’s talking to a three-year-old. “You smat! You’re loyal. You’re grateful. I appreciate that.”

Then, he tosses her a few stacks of presumably real money, “Go buy your mom a house. Go buy your whole family houses. Put some money in your savings account. Go spend some money for no reason. Come back and ask for more.”

But. . . don’t forget the HEADPHONES!

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Bravo, lads.

To anyone who is enduring the struggle to wake up this morning, just click “play” on the video and enjoy the hilarity. If you’re like me, and you can’t dance, who cares? Dance anyway. Have some fun. Make the best of things.

 

–Bryan

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Updates

To all,

As we continue updating the site, we’ll keep you posted on the progress. Now, as you see, we’ve begun implementing basic social networking functionality. This means that, just like the other popular websites you use, you’ll also be able to directly share, like, and comment on our posts using your Facebook!

Soon, we plan on adding a roster of journalists and bloggers to begin our own news feed. During this time, you’ll see a few posts every now and then, and likely some layout changes as we continue to test and tune our updates.  Considering that we only have one active blogger (me lol), most of the posts will be from me until more people are added. Feel free to contact me on my Facebook (we’re also getting Machscribe email addresses set up) if you’re interested.

Thank you for bearing with us during our rise to form and function!

–devteam, Bryan

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Writer’s Block

Yep, I have it. Once I get done loathing in pity and get back to doing what I do best, I’ll post something more constructive, haha.

Please bear with me.

#thestruggle

–Bryan