Our Mission

In all, we believe in the power of expression. We believe that inside of every human, there is a story that can capture the hearts of those who wish to read or listen. Magically, we can be taken to other times, places, and universes. We can become new and radically different people. We can conquer our greatest enemies, or stare our imperfections in the face to tell them: that deep down, we still dream. In those moments, where inspiration and influence overshadow doubt and fear, if just one word can propagate a ripple into the fabric of humanity and its history, imagine the power of thousands. 

Message To Anyone Out There

First post in three months. Shit.

 

I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing.

Honestly, I dove in over my head with this entire project, as I tend to do whenever I grow excited about a blazing new idea. I tend to see the end result, which is usually glorious–but unfortunately without recognizing what it truly takes to get there.

With very little ability to manipulate my dreams into a digital reality at the moment, I find it best to stick to what I’m good at: writing.

The keys of my beloved knock-off keyboard, and the temptations of the void white paperspace on Microsoft Word. I have stories to tell, but for now, I can only do it with words. Nothing more.

 

That’s me. There’s where I belong, at least until I can assemble a development team. I need help with this, but I’m not sure how to make it work. When that time comes, anyone who sees this will the first to know.

 

My sincere apologies,

 

–Bryan

“The Brown Wedding” by James O. Thach

Yes, this must be shared. The enormous potential of sugar-free gummi bears to be used a weapon of mass toilet destruction holds true. Here, on the Amazon.com review of Haribo’s version of these monsters, I found this “top rated review.” Though I did not write this, I feel as if it would be a crime against humanity to not share the author’s incredible story:

 

The Brown Wedding

 

It’s been a rough couple of years for my family. There have been a few land disputes, some nasty feuds, several imprisonments and a beheading. But perhaps our most celebrated misfortune was what has come to be known as The Brown Wedding.

I don’t want to bore you with all the details, but essentially my cousin Robb was betrothed to the daughter of a family rival. Then, against all our counsel, he eloped with another woman. Classic Robb.

Anyway, you can imagine our surprise when we found ourselves invited to the wedding of the jilted bride. Perhaps it should have been a red flag. But we Starks love a free meal, so off we went.

They threw it in their castle. After a tense exchange between Robb and the father of the bride, the ceremony was performed, and we all sat down for the feast. It was bench seating. The food was simple fare–beans, broccoli, and bran muffins. Again, a warning sign, but we were caught up in the merriment and the wine.

Dessert arrived. The waiters uncovered tureens filled with colorful piles of gummy bears–a welcomed note of levity. The fifes played a jig, and we all dug in. They were delightful–fruity and delicious.

Twenty minutes later, the father of the bride proposed a toast. “To the Starks,” he said. “May all your misfortunes be behind you.”

Around this time, I began to feel uncomfortable rumblings down below, and looked about for a restroom. As my eyes scanned the hall, I noticed that the bride’s family weren’t eating the gummy bears. A waiter was refilling the tureen next to me. I snuck a glance at the bag–Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears. My blood ran cold.

I rose to shout a warning to my family, but the alarm came from my backside–a three-note trumpet blast that ended badly. I felt a fullness in the back of my pants. A thousand shocked eyes turned to me. And then the room erupted in a cacophony of flatulence–and worse. Far worse.

How can I describe it? The sights, the sounds, the smells. And the pain–like a grappling hook dragged backward through my bowels.

I watched in horror as, one by one, my family doubled over, succumbing to the ceaseless waves of stabbing pain. Some were clutching their bellies, others lay writhing on the floor, or stumbling in circles, emitting auburn plumes of effluvium. The walls were soon spattered with our suffering.

The father of the bride watched it all with intent eyes, delighted by the macabre spectacle.

I saw Robb–brave Robb–fall victim to the gastronomic assault. Not even his pregnant wife was spared. Monstrous.

Soon only our matriarch was left standing, teetering as she made a final plea for mercy. But too late. She fell to her knees and erupted, and what came out of her haunts me to this day.

So hear me, and hear me well. I swear vengeance on them, their house and their kin. I will hunt them to the last of their line, from Winterfell to Casterly Rock. And if I do not live to see their castle burn to the ground, I will at least light the match. For, by the gods, someone needs to light a match in that place.

 

–James O. Thach.

PSA: Self Image & Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

 

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So the Victoria’s Secret fashion show is tonight. I look forward to seeing a bunch of girls on Facebook rambling about how their self esteem is lower after watching it.

Here’s a tip:

Every human is different. Whether you are a man or a woman, there is always someone that society might consider being better looking than you are. It’s a fact. Take for example, People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive,” Chris Hemsworth (Ironically, this title is likely selected by a female panel of an unknown number. You know, the same ones who decry the Victoria’s Secret models.). He is a better looking man than I am. It’s a fact.

Would it be cool to look like Chris Hemsworth? Yes, I’d definitely imagine so. I’m human, thus I am innately self-critical. Do I feel that I’m imperfect? Yes. I’m too short (5’7″), too skinny, too frail, and too “ordinary” looking.

Then, logic attempts to step in:

Truth be told, it is logical to think that I should not hold myself up to the same standard as Chris Hemsworth, most because I’m not Chris Hemsworth. I’m Bryan Williams, and it is genetically impossible for me to look like Chris Hemsworth. The best thing that I could do to improve my self-confidence is to work on improving things about myself that I’m insecure about. I could eat better food (I have a diet that mostly consists of honey buns, pizza, and Skyline Chilli), I could work out (I did before and actually saw decent results), and perhaps take more time to groom to improve how I look. The rest, is out of my control.

On the flip side, there are people that think that I’m attractive. Most notably, my wife (for whatever reasons she might have). The same goes for all of us. While you may think that you’re nothing but ordinary, someone out there thinks that you are the world. Someone thinks that you are the most beautiful thing that they’ve ever seen. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true.

Now, to the women, these “impossible beauty standards” don’t include women and only women. They include both genders, and that is something largely ignored. You cannot bash the looks of a Victoria’s Secret model while worshiping Channing Tatum. That is contradictory. We must only look at the facts. Why do you like these men? Well, they’re attractive. Why do most men like Reese Witherspoon? She’s pretty.

For all of us, we have to realize that these extremely attractive people actually exist in real life, and nearly all of them (minus the occasional artificial enhancement) were born they way they are. . . just like we were. Penelope Cruz was born that way. Carrie Underwood was too. However, they are people just like the rest of us. We are who we are, and we must deal with what we’ve been handed. Most of the time, I’d stretch to say that it isn’t THAT bad.

Maybe, we should accept that, and then learn to love who we are on a personal level. Improve on the things that we have personal control of, and try not to concern ourselves too much with the things that we cannot control. I know that  it’s very difficult, and yet, though I’m preaching here, I struggle with the same things every day.

Insecurity rules my mind, but depending on the day, I do pretty good with it sometimes.

I am who I am. You are who you are. Let’s embrace that.

 

–Bryan

Christopher Nolan’s “Interstellar” blockbuster: Win or fail?

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I’ve taken the past few days to let my screening of Interstellar sink in for an in-depth analysis. While the full review will be up later, I will provide you with this Meanwhile on the Internet quick synopsis of one of the movie’s many conundrums:

(courtesy of Facebook user Luke Houser)

Interstellar summary

 

Yes. Please make sure to read that twice, because if any of that makes sense, it’ll help you out later.

Stay tuned as I dive further into the black hole (pun intended) of mind-blowing space opera that is Interstellar.

Meanwhile On Twitter. . .

 

 

 

 

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Yeah, so Twitter has been one thing that I’ve never personally understood. Being an avid Facebook user, perhaps I just find myself to be biased, but on Twitter it seems as if there just a lot of people talking to themselves. Lately, due to business reasons, I’ve reinstated the life of my personal Twitter account , but I still haven’t gotten used it. At random, I get follower requests from people that I’ve never seen nor heard of in my entire life, but hey, maybe that’s the point! When I originally logged in, I think it did something where it synced with all of my phone’s contacts and automatically requested any matches that it found on Twitter, but some of these people pop up and I don’t even understand how.

Today, whilst diligently killing time, I clicked on the Twitter app and found this:

 

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WTF is this? Here, we have two respectable ladies who apparently know everything that there is to know about two of the hottest topics trending between today’s heterosexual women: men and marriage.

 

What can we deduce from their theories?

[1] That men and women are apparently treated differently by society if they choose to not join someone else in holy matrimony.

Fair enough.

We’ll save the topic of gender inequality for another day. 

[2] One of them said that she has, ahem, fornicated with “enough” married men to know that marriage isn’t “superlative.” Also, this seems to imply that women don’t cheat too?

Wait, so just because you’ve slept with “enough” married men, this somehow means that you know them all? Either you’ve slept with over 3.5 billion males (a good majority of which would be underage and unmarried), or you’re making a HUGE (and quite ridiculous) assumption. Maybe it shouldn’t be taken literally, after all, it could be a joke.

Even if it isn’t a joke, don’t we have more than enough evidence to know that to some people, marriage actually is superlative, if done correctly? Sure we’re seeing a record number of marital failures these days, but there’s also plenty of hope.

I mean, look at “Kimye” as a fine example:

Isn’t this one of the ultimate societal archetypes that we’ve been presented with?

They seem to be doing just fine! Didn’t you guys see that crazy music video?  They’ve been married for nearly six months (longer than I have), and there are no signs of impending doom. I’ll give Kim props, as this surely trumps her previous marital stint’s 72 days of wedlock.

Oh, well. Though I briefly lose faith in humanity after seeing things like this Twitter post (I still have no clue who originated the quotes, because I’m Twitter dumb), I think we need to look on the bright side. There is nothing wrong with marriage, especially if you do it right. I mean, I’ve only been married since July 25th, so what do I know? Oh, just that when I said those vows to my wife, I actually meant them.

/rant

–Bryan

DJ Khaled Might Have The World’s Easiest Job

Yep, I said it.

DJ Khaled might have the world’s easiest job. I mean, come on, the guy blew up by producing songs with A-list hip-hop artists in them, but he justifies putting his name on the artist list simply because he randomly shouts, “DJ KHALED!” before and after a set of uncomfortably cheesy lines said to a nameless woman before the music starts.

NOTE: This woman isn’t a normal nameless woman, she’s “smat,” according to Khaled.

You read that correctly. Not “smart,” but “smat,” without the “r,” because it would be too proper to say it right.

Should we mention the random Heads Audio advertisement drops? Dude hopped out of a Maybach 67S wearing a pair of headphones as if they were surgically attached to his head. Nonetheless, I’d imagine that he’s still making millions, so I begin to ponder the ultimate question:

[1] How do we “normal” minions manage something like this? Can I do some advertising drops for Little Debbie Iced Honey Buns (the greatest semi-artificial pastry EVER)? I have no problem with being strategically placed in a music video, dancing to the music, all while munching away at my pastry. Maybe I’ll call 2 Chainz and try to book a spot in his next drop.

[2] How does one build a music and advertising empire that enables one to easily promote products, even if the advertisement borders on horrendous? We demand answers!

Oh, and don’t dismiss this as hate. Khaled is a genius, and obviously, he’s fine-tuned his formula and it’s working. The song is catchy enough, and Future still sucks (he sounds like a drunken Walt Jr. from “Breaking Bad”), but Chris’ part shines as usual. The guy has some talent, and hopefully the anger management therapy helps him out.

“Say my name, baby!” Khaled says to the nameless woman after the music. It’s as if he’s talking to a three-year-old. “You smat! You’re loyal. You’re grateful. I appreciate that.”

Then, he tosses her a few stacks of presumably real money, “Go buy your mom a house. Go buy your whole family houses. Put some money in your savings account. Go spend some money for no reason. Come back and ask for more.”

But. . . don’t forget the HEADPHONES!

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Bravo, lads.

To anyone who is enduring the struggle to wake up this morning, just click “play” on the video and enjoy the hilarity. If you’re like me, and you can’t dance, who cares? Dance anyway. Have some fun. Make the best of things.

 

–Bryan

Updates

To all,

As we continue updating the site, we’ll keep you posted on the progress. Now, as you see, we’ve begun implementing basic social networking functionality. This means that, just like the other popular websites you use, you’ll also be able to directly share, like, and comment on our posts using your Facebook!

Soon, we plan on adding a roster of journalists and bloggers to begin our own news feed. During this time, you’ll see a few posts every now and then, and likely some layout changes as we continue to test and tune our updates.  Considering that we only have one active blogger (me lol), most of the posts will be from me until more people are added. Feel free to contact me on my Facebook (we’re also getting Machscribe email addresses set up) if you’re interested.

Thank you for bearing with us during our rise to form and function!

–devteam, Bryan

Writer’s Block

Yep, I have it. Once I get done loathing in pity and get back to doing what I do best, I’ll post something more constructive, haha.

Please bear with me.

#thestruggle

–Bryan

Talent Building & Expansion

Well, now that things have gotten started, we’re going to begin actively looking for bloggers and journalists to get things going. On Tuesday, we proudly added another fiction author to the team, and his information will be announced soon. Any other promising authors who are striving to get their names and work out to the eyes of the world are more than free to inquire.

As for the live blogs and newsfeeds:

In the future, each day, you should find a selection of posts that pertain to various categories, written by bloggers who are affiliated with Machscribe and have an amount of passion equivalent to the people who started this. We expect that there will be a myriad of topics (automotive, sports, politics, feminism, technology, education, etc.) to choose from.

Unfortunately, we still have quite a long way to go with the website itself, as we are fine tuning the posting functions and working on developing live news feeds inside of the page (and each subpage, as we are still having problems with subpages). Also, because this is an entity founded on honesty, we are looking into fundraising options too. Machscribe is 100% personally funded, with the money to operate and develop the site coming from our pockets.

Perhaps a Kickstarter campaign in the near future will do as we press forward to expand our business model will help. A corporate email service will be started up within the next week (hopefully this weekend), and as soon as that happens, our contact information will be posted and any help or inquires from you will be appreciated beyond comprehension!

Thank you!

-devteam

Still holding onto a little angst after a long Monday?

Hit “play,” turn up your volume, and go crazy.

 

You can thank me later.

 

Oh, and be sure to check these guys out on their Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/TheFewTheFallen?fref=nf